I Hope You Are Okay

When I fell in love for the first time I was obsessed with the boy and so blinded I couldn't see at all how deeply patronising a character he really was. He broke my heart and left me weeping in a friend's living room at a party. I didn't stop weeping for months and maybe even years. Until something in my brain chemistry clicked and it became crystal clear that the guy was a total fraud, a phony.

One day this year I decide to go to Belgium to live with Stephen. I have to sub let my room to someone. I send out an email to many many people. A girl calls and she asks me if I would be okay with a couple living in my room. I say to her that we should all meet for a drink and see how things go. A few days later I receive a text message from her boyfriend, the same boy who broke my heart. He wants to make sure I knew it was him and he wants to know how I am. I say I am well and that it would be inappropriate for him to live in my room. He says he agrees and "I hope you are okay." As if after all this while I am still bitter at him. Well of course I am, because he is an idiot.

"I hope you are okay" is i think same sentiment as in Sophie's break up letter from her lover "Take Care of Yourself." Did these men really think they were at the centre of the universe? and didn't they realise that we can change the centre of the universe at a moments notice?

Prenez Soin de Vous - Take Care Of Yourself

List of Sophie's interpreters:

PSYCHIATRIST
ETHNOMETHODOLOGIST
TRANSLATOR IN SMS LANGUAGE
HISTORIAN
CROSSWORD WRITER
LINGUIST, SEMIOLOGIST, MEDEIVALIST
STYLISTIC ANALYST
TRANSLATOR
LATINIST
CHESS PLAYER
PHILOLOGIST
DIPLOMAT
CURATOR
ACCOUNTANT
POET
WRITER,PERFORMANCE ARTIST
IKEBANA MASTER
MOTHER
DESIGNER
WRITER
PUBLIC LETTER WRITER
RADIO HOST
SCREENWRITER
FILM DIRECTOR
ACTRESS
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
SOUND ENGINEER
CLOWN
ACTRESS
ETOILE DANCER AT THE OPERA DE PARIS
ACTRESS
RIFLE SHOOTER
SINGER
COMIC ACTRESS
OPERA SINGER
ACTRESS
ACTRESS
PERFORMANCE ARTIST
ACTRESS
MUSICIAN
ACTRESS
POP SINGER
MAGICIAN
SINGER
ACTRESS
BUNRAKU PUPPET
COMPOSER
BHARATA NATYAM DANCER
PETROCHEMICAL SINGER
ACTRESS
ACTRESS
TANGO SINGER
ACTRESS
ACTRESS
OPERA SINGER
ACTRESS
SOUL SINGER
DJ, VOCALIST
SINGER, ACTRESS
PUPPET AT THE JARDIN D'ACCLIMATION, PARIS
ACTRESS
ELECTRO-ANDALUSIAN SINGER
ACTRESS
VOCALIST, COMPOSER
RAPPER
FADO SINGER
ACTRESS
MUSICIAN
PARROT

The cherry on the cake of my personal insecurities is when I feel I will never amount to anything other than a boring and mediocre artist. It was after one of these particular cherry flavoured melt downs that Stephen bought me Sophie's book.

It would be rude not to do something with it.

Obsession In The Streets - Beginning with Sophie Calle

Sophie Calle, as I understand her, is in accidental genius of a French photographer who started out by stalking people in Paris in order to get an idea of the city through someone else's eyes in the 1970s. She never intended to be a photographer. She has a talent for finding games and playful documentation.

I first met Sophie Calle's work in the Georges Pompidou Centre in Paris at an exhibition of Feminist artwork of the 20th Century. On exhibit were pictures from her project "The Hotel" (1981) where she landed a job as a chambermaid in a hotel in Venice. She took the opportunity while cleaning people's rooms to rifle through their belongings and try to make up a picture of who the guests were purely from the objects she found in their room.

One day, early this year, Stephen and I were in a book shop in Auckland and I picked up a big heavy shiny pink book called "Take Care of Yourself." This was Sophie Calle's 1997 work for the Venice Biennale. She was sent an email from her lover, a writer, breaking up with her. He signed off by saying "take care of yourself..." Sophie took this e-mail and had it interpreted by 107 different women.

"I received an email telling me it was over. I didn't know how to respond. It was almost as if it hadn't been meant for me. It ended with the words, "take care of yourself." And so I did. I asked one hundred and seven women, including two made from wood and one with feathers, chosen for their profession or skills to interpret this letter. To analyze it, comment on it, dance it, sing it. Dissect it. Exhaust it. Understand it for me. Answer for me. It was a way of taking the time to break up. A way of taking care of myself." - Sophie Calle, Take Care of Yourself.

I became instantly obsessed with the work. Then I became obsessed with all of Calle's work. I am obsessed with the idea that there can be a way of processing an obsession so much that eventually it can turn into fine flour.

I intend to make a performance work based on this idea.

I'm going to guess that the first step in processing an obsession is to make it public...

SOPHIE CALLE I AM OBSESSED WITH YOUR WORK!